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By: Ikedi Ani-okoye

Customs and etiquette of the traditional English wedding

Fast-approaching spring blossoms and summer sunshine mean that the wedding season is almost upon us. It is therefore essential that members of the wedding party, family, friends and even the hired help be aware of the manners appropriate for such a special occasion. Perhaps more than any other social occasion, weddings are riddled with rules of etiquette svhich are strongly adhered to - even now, in the twenty first century.

Of course, despite the months or sometimes years of planning that go into a wedding, it is often the case that guests do not know any details until an invitation lands on the doormat.

This is a key point: although we may now live in an electronic World where communication is instant, it is crucial that a wedding invitation be sealed inside an envelope, hand-addressed and posted via snail mail. e-mail invitations will be considered cheap and tasteless; if you have a green conscience, why not try eco-friendly cards from companies such as Naturally Ever after and Earthly Affair (www. naturallyeverafter. com, www. earthlyaffair. corn)? Recipients must respond promptly to wedding or evening reception invitations via return card.

The rehearsal dinner is reserved for the wedding party only, and is hosted by the groom's parents following a run-through of the ceremony she evening before ihe wedding.

Whilst speeches are usually kept for the following day, it is customary for the groom's parents to male a toast. This is an excellent way for the wedding party to get to know each other, but it is important to keep alcohol limited, as the wedding party especially will need a lot of rest before the big day.

Numerous superstitions and traditions have come together over centuries to create the stages of a wedding and the rules surrounding its etiquette. For example, carrying something old, new, borrowed and blue originates From a Victorian verse, and consequently is a very 'English' part of wedding tradition. Something old should be From another happily-married woman, which is thought to transfer happiness to the newlyweds; something new symbolises a new future together and is chosen by the bride for herself; something borrowed is from a family member but must be returned for good luck; and something blue is representative of faithfulness and often worn on the garter or undergarments.

The wedding cake has its origin in Roman times, when it mas symbolic of fertility - rather than being eaten, the cake was broken over the bride's head. Over time, tiers of cake appeared at weddings and newlyweds would stand on opposite sides, attempting to kiss without knocking the tower. Good fortune was secured if the kiss was successful and today this can be seen in figurines atop the highest tier.
Speeches form one of the most memorable parts of any wedding, and the etiquette surrounding their order and content has been constant for several centuries.

Speaking first, the father of the bride makes a toast to the newlyweds and shares memories of his daughter; the groom responds, thanking Cis new in-laws and proposing a toast to the bridesmaids.

Expressing gratitude to those involved in the planning, it is then proper for the groom to give gifts to the bridesmaids and best man, before concluding with a tribute to his new wife. The last speech (usually th most entertaining) is given by the best man; this includes thanks on behalf of Himself and the bridesmaids, and messages from those who could not attend. The best man will often end his speech with a compilation of amusing and upbeat stories about the groom, before making a final toast to the happy couple.

Etiquette is important for all social occasions but particularly weddings; for brides and grooms who slave been carefully planning the day it can be an extremely stressful time, as well as a very happy one. Adhering to wedding etiquette will not only give the wedding the atmosphere of elegance and decorum it deserves, but is also an excellent way of acknowledging the work of those involved in its planning.