Today is
By: Ikedi Ani-okoye
Toddlers are naturally full of emotion, but to an exasperated parent a toddler temper tantrum can feel like a natural disaster whenever not quelled rapidly. Tantrums are not a toddler’s way of being a bad kid, but simply how they cope with their feelings the best way they can for their age. What’s a parent to do to calm the storm before it gets out of hand? Here are a few simple tips to help compose your distressed toddler without losing your temper or surrendering to the tantrum.
Ignore the behavior: although at times it seems impossible, one of the most effective ways to stop a toddler tantrum is to just ignore it. Leave the room or move to another location in the room when you can. Your toddler will soon figure out that what they’re doing isn’t working, and without an audience they commonly stop crying rather speedily anyway. Keep an eye on them of course to make sure they can’t get hurt, but give them room and let them work out their emotions.
Express Yourself: Tell your toddler how their behavior makes you feel. Sound kind of silly to talk to a toddler about feelings? Perhaps at first, but with time a toddler can see how talking makes you happy and they will learn to discuss their feelings rather than throwing a fit. They learn that talking about feelings is a good thing.
Don’t Give In: when the tantrum is a result of you having to remove a favourite toy or since you will not let them have what they want at the moment, remember that giving in to the tantrum only instils in your toddler’s mind that screaming is a good habit. They’re simply testing the waters to see how far they can push before you give them what they hope. Tell your child why they can’t have the desired object and then talk to them about it or distract them from the toy etc. Kids soon learn that screaming and crying will not work and that you have set boundaries that they cannot cross.
Monkey See, Monkey Do: This may sound surprising, but sometimes mimicking your toddler’s behaviour will distract the child enough to stop the tantrum in its tracks. Cast the same silly fit as your child and most believably they’ll stop screaming and look at you like you’re nuts and crack up laughing. They’ll see how silly their behaviour is and perhaps not try that one again. Don’t be surprised, however, if they enjoy it enough to desire to play ‘silly fit’ with Mommy again, only not as a real tantrum!
What to Do in Public: Why is it that so many toddler temper tantrums occur in public places? Most plausibly it’s because there are bright and shiny objects around that they desire and also because toddlers tire easily and that’s prime time for tantrums. Whenever a temper fit starts to build in public just remove your child to a quiet private place and implement step two above. Whilst tantrums are more stressful in public, try to stay calm and tell your child that screaming in public is not ok. Tell them it’s ok to feel sad, angry, tired, hungry etc., but that temper tantrums are not. Whenever at all possible, the best bet is to just go home when you know that your toddler is overly tired and/or hungry.
Remember, parents are souls too, and it’s only instinctual to feel exasperated, embarrassed and just plain mad if your toddler throws a temper tantrum. Try your best to use some of the tips mentioned and not give into frustration and start yelling at your child. Through giving in to bad behaviour yourself, you’re only sending the message that tantrums are acceptable. Redirect the behaviour and talk to your child. Through starting this type of effective communication with your child at an early age, you’re setting a precedent for future positive behaviour that will help your toddler become an expressive and respectful individual during their life.
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