Today is

By: Ikedi Ani-okoye

Alfa Brera

Weve all suffered. You pick up the latest novel by a favourite author expecting a cracking read only to discover this was a book he clearly knocked off before lunch. You head to the cinema to see the latest movie starring a couple of screen icons, only to discover a plodding script and heavy-handed direction has dulled any onscreen magic you expected its stars to have. In fact, you leave the cinema certain the pair couldn't bear the sight of one another by the end of shooting. So it is what the Alfa Romeo Brera.

On paper it has it all. Drop-dead good looks, a lusty V6 power plant and, in the case of the range-topping Q4, a four-wheel drive chassis to boot. Add in Alfa soul, a standard feature on every car ifeanng the quadnfogilo or four-leaf clover and you ve got a sure fire winner. Yet the result is a disappointment. Driving the Brera is a strangely unmoving experience. and an Alfa should be anything but ordinary. Part of the problem is the engine. Affa has been making V6 power plants for decades and all combine power with soul, performance with character.

But the V6 driving the Bn~a isn't reedy an Aka engine, but a motor developed by General Motors to which a few bits have added. While it produces a healthy sounding 256 bhp, it lacks the response, urgency and the aural pleasure delivered by a tnue Nfa engine. And N's not helped by the overall weight of the Brera. Despite its shortened ihassis - it's 175mm shorter than the 159 saloon on which it's based - the Jera is a podge.

What's needed is some of Audi's aluminium in- place of Alfa steel. This extra avoirdupois not only blunts the pedormance (and murders fuel economy) but also hinders the handling. Alfas usually come alive when shown a corner, but the four-wheel drive Brera doesn't. Oh, it has ample grip and great traction, especially in the wet, but it never feels especially lively and for a driver's car that's an unforgivable sin.

Vhis latest generation of Alfa models are light years ahead of their predecessors in one significant area however: quality. The Brera is clearly well made and exceptionally stylish inside and out. There's a school of thought that says Brera is too short and has a dumpy rear end, but for them propose a quick trip to Specsavers. To these eyes, the Brew is every inch an Alia. Dramatic, different. and one of the few cars in its class that looks good painted red. Inside the good news continues.

Although it's expensive - virtually £30,000 with the SV pack - the Brera Q4 driver will want for little, Leather, alloys, dual-zone climate control and a Fabulous panoramic glass roof are all standard... though 'Special Alfa Red' paint will add £400 to the bill. The driving position is damn near perfect and the steering, brakes and gearbox as good as anything Alfa has ever produced.

Like the Audi TT the rear seats are more for decoration than any practical purpose, but the boot is roomy and practical. With leather and aluminium to the fore inside, the cabin has a genuinely classy feel and squeaks and navies are non-existent. To anyone who has driven an older Alfa these things will come as a revelation.
It's the dramatic jump in the looks, style, quality and sheer individuality of the Brera that makes the dull drive doubly difficult to bear.

Act, for a more positive experience (and the chance to save a fair chunk of cash), it would be better to look at a lesser Brera, the 2.4-litre diesel version for example. While it's not as powerful or quick (though a great deal more economical) and only has front-wheel drive rather than all-wheel traction, it's a good deal more involving to drive.

CONCLUSION

Trouble is, Brera was conceived as (and has been priced as) a junior super-car, a rival for the Audi TT, Nissan 350Z and BMW 3-Series Coupd. As a front-driven diesel, it is no more than a hot hatch, and you'll get more bangs for your bucks from a Ford Focus ST or a Golf GTi. So close, yet so far. And a miss is as good as a mile Sorry Alfa.